Love people who love you

I am not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, nor have whatever I want without working hard. I'm certainly alright with it. I mean, you cannot choose such stuff right? At least I'm better off than many in the world. At least I have parents who love me, a lot. 

Though we might not be as close as many others, we are at least, still around for one another. 

I have parents who are willing to slog their life in exchange for our future. They are working so hard just to make sure we'd lead a better life. What are they expecting? Us 'repaying'? No. They just hope we can have a good head start. 

Yes, money is not everything. However, it is the crucial thing to keep the world functioning. All the school fees, living expenses, hospital bills... They are all adding up to the burden my parents are shouldering. They might not complain but I know, it is just terrible. 

At the same time, they are trying their best to maintain our living standards. 

In fact, we are very much spoiled by them. 3 lazy pigs doing nothing to help. 

I never ask from my parents. I mean, unless absolutely necessary. I really don't wanna add to their overwhelming burden. Plus, it is good to work hard for what I want. At least some sort of goal for me.

I'm trying to save up now and I'm determined. I might not be able to support my parents now but at the very least I hope I can be self-reliant. I despise those who rely on their parents for everything, do nothing except asking for money. Er xin.   

To be frank, I think I only know how to think for other people after 17. During J1. I was always pampered, sheltered and unreasonable. I'm sorry to those I've hurt intentionally or unintentionally. I hope they know I'm referring to them. I'm not sure what changed me; probably my relationship, my friends, my environment, the exposure or just how old and frail my parents look. I finally see and understand how much they have put in for me, for us. UNCONDITIONALLY. 

Time has mercilessly took away youth, health, energy and life from my parents. Or... is it us?

I..I feel so happy yet sad.

I have the best parents in the whole entire world while they have the worst daughter. Heartbreaking.

Now, it's all about moving forward, I just want to study hard, work hard, lighten my parents' burden, buy a house for them to stay and preferably a small car to drive around and occasionally travel around. eat good food, snap a lot of nice pictures. Eat, pray, love. I want them to enjoy their retirement, really.

Xo, love people who love you please.